Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Monday, March 26, 2012

Everything Happens in New York City

“There’s no more soda in the house. It looks like we gotta run to the store,” Robert yelled, pulling his head out of the fridge.

“Ah don’t mind a lil’ walk. It’ll give me a chance to see more of my cousin’s neighborhood.”

“I keep telling’ you, Bubba, New York ain’t all that special.”

“Robert, ah’ve neva been to New York, so this is a special occasion for me. This is my chance to see what makes this city so famous. Ah’m always hearing about all this stuff that goes on here. It must be exciting.”

“Maybe to you, Bubba, ‘cause you don’t live here. But I’ve been living here all nineteen years of my life and, let me tell you, it gets annoying sometimes. Now go get your shoes on so we can go.”

“You don’t hafta talk to me like Ah’m a kid. We are the same age, remember?”

As Bubba stood up off the couch to get his sneakers, Robert looked over at his cousin. He shook his head at Bubba’s attire, which consisted of short overalls and a white undershirt. God, all he needs is a damn straw hat and a pitchfork, Robert thought to himself. Why can’t he wear normal clothes? He looked down at his wife-beater, long, baggy jeans, and brown boots and let out a long sigh. You can’t pick your family, but you sure as hell can take them to Macy’s. “We need to get you a Yankee’s hat or something,” Robert called out to Bubba. He grabbed a bag of jellybeans and his keys from the counter and stuffed them into his pants.

“Rob, what’re the jellybeans for? I thought we were going to the sto’ to get snacks.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bubba. They’re a ‘just in case’ payment.”

“Payment? Now, I know Ah’m from the South, but we still use money where I come from. What’re you gonna pay for with those?”

“Let’s just hope you don’t have to find out,” Robert said, ushering his cousin out the door.

They exited the apartment building and were confronted by the sights and sounds of a busy New York City evening. People were walking briskly along the sidewalk, listening to iPods or talking on cell phones. Someone decided to fight the heat and humidity of the day by opening up the fire hydrant. Little kids were running back and forth through the spray, laughing and enjoying the cool water. They would stop and stand on the sidewalk as the occasional car would roll by, the driver making sure to put up his windows before continuing on.

Robert greeted some of his neighbors sitting on the stoop of his building as he walked down to the sidewalk. He could feel their sneers on his back, sure that they were pointing and laughing at his country cousin. Bubba, for his part, seemed to be oblivious to the scrutiny. He was looking wide-eyed at his surroundings, taking in everything he could as if he were afraid that if he blinked, it would all go away.

Both Robert and Bubba were abruptly pulled out of their musings by a sudden bang and a puff of smoke that surrounded them. Robert put his hand on Bubba’s chest, stopping his movement. As the smoke cleared, they could see four people surrounding them. These people stood about 4 ½ feet tall and were clad in all-black ninja outfits. In their hands were held katana that gleamed in the sunlight.

“Oh my God!” exclaimed Bubba.

“Oh crap,” muttered Robert.

“You know what this is,” the lead ninja said, taking a step towards the duo. “You are in our territory, and must pay the tribute to continue.”

“Territory? Tribute? Robert, what are they talkin’ ’bout?” Bubba asked, his voice full of shock.

The ninja to their right took a step toward them and pointed his katana at Bubba. “Shut up, you insolent fool. You may dress like a foreigner, but you should still recognize when you are in danger.”

“Don’t worry, Bubba, I’ll handle this,” Robert said to his cousin as he reached into his pocket. The four ninjas visibly tensed, their hands gripping tighter on their hilts. Robert slowly pulled his hand back out, revealing the bag of jelly beans. He held it out to the lead ninja. The diminutive assassin held his sword in one hand and grabbed the bag with the other. He hefted it in his hand, much like a bandit from days long ago handling a pouch of gold coins.

“This should do until next week,” the ninja said, attaching the bag to his belt.

“Oh man, Tim, we’re in trouble,” said the ninja that stood behind Robert and Bubba.

“I told you, my name isn’t Tim, it’s Fox!” the lead ninja exclaimed, ripping his black hood off in exasperation. “And why would we be in trouble?” As those words left his mouth, a shadow appeared over him. He slowly turned around, his eyes coming level with the bosom of a woman towering over him wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe, slippers, and her hair in big pink rollers. Tim looked up and a groan could be heard escaping his throat.

“Fox!? Oh, you’re Fox now? Fox isn’t the name your father and I gave you. We named you after your dear departed grandfather, and you should be proud of that name!” The woman reached out, grabbed Tim’s ear and began pulling. “And what did I tell you about hanging out in the streets with these little hooligans, playing with swords? You’re gonna hurt yourself one of these days!”

“Awww, mama, we was just having a little fun,” Tim protested as he was led down the street by his ear. Robert looked around and saw the other ninjas running down the street in the opposite direction.

“So much for loyalty,” Robert said as he started walking again.

“Oh man, cousin, a ninja attack! I can’t believe I was actually involved in a ninja attack!”

“Well, you wanted to see New York,” Robert replied.

“But they were NINJAS!!! In New York City!!!”

“Yeah, I know,” Robert said, shaking his head.

The two of them continued on their journey, Bubba going on about the ninjas and Robert being tired of Bubba’s enthusiasm. As they walked, Bubba’s yammering was interrupted by the sound of loud sirens and gunfire. Robert looked back and saw a black sedan speeding towards them. A man was hanging out of the passenger-side window of the car, steadily firing a submachine gun behind him. Chasing after them were two police cruisers, sirens wailing. Gunfire was being returned by the lead chase car.

“Oh shit, get down!” Robert yelled, pulling Bubba with him. The two of them ducked behind the nearest car and waited.

The high-speed chase continued up the street, bullets whizzing back and forth. As the black sedan passed the car Robert and Bubba were ducked down behind, the police officer firing at the criminals got a lucky hit. The gas tank of the car exploded, quickly covering the rear of the vehicle in flames. The concussive force of the blast lifted the back of the car into the air, causing the sedan to flip over before slamming back onto the ground, crushing the roof and instantly killing the people within.

Robert and Bubba stayed ducked down as glass and other shrapnel rained down all around them. Bubba stuck his finger in his ear and wiggled it, trying to get the ringing out. The two police cars quickly braked behind the overturned car and the officers got out. They examined the car for survivors before calling it in on their radios.

Robert stood up and brushed some small pieces of glass from his shoulders. Bubba slowly stood up and looked at the aftermath of the chase, his eyes and mouth wide open.

“Damn, Bobby, those cops just took out those crim’nals!” Bubba exclaimed.

“No shit,” he said, running his hand lightly through his hair. He rolled his eyes as glass fell off his head to the ground. “Come on, Bubba, let’s keep going before something else stupid happens.”

“What else could happen, cousin?”

“Bubba, this is New York City. You NEVER ask ‘What else could happen?’ or ‘How can it get any worse?’”

Bubba lingered behind for a few more moments before walking after Robert.

“Does stuff like this happen all the time?” Bubba asked.

“Often enough.”

“Man, we don’t have ninjas and car chases in my town.”

“Of course not. Why would ninjas care about a town of only two thousand people in the Deep South?”

“It’s like there’s always something about to happen around here,” Bubba said, his eyes searching the roofs of the buildings.

Robert was quickly becoming annoyed with Bubba’s constant questions about how often things like this happened in New York. Bubba didn’t seem to understand that to Robert, these were common occurrences. Robert was about to just tell Bubba to shut up when a whistling sound could be heard in the air. It quickly became louder and ended with a loud bang as an object that had been hurtling through the air hit the ground with a loud bang. The object slid along the ground, leaving a furrow in the street. A yellow taxi that was driving down the street stopped short, the driver hitting the brakes and throwing the wheel to the left. The object hit the right side of the car, causing the window to shatter and the door to crumple.

As people watched, the object stood up and dizzily shook his head. The man’s very muscular body was squeezed into a unitard colored in red, white, and blue and a red cape hung from his neck. On his feet were blue boots.

“Oh my GOD!” Bubba yelled. “That’s m-m-m-m-m”

“Yes, that’s Mighty Man,” Robert finished for him. “And if he’s here like this, something’s going down.”

At that moment, a large metallic figure landed in the street ten feet in front of Mighty Man. The robot stood fifteen feet tall and had glowing red eyes. It reached out for Mighty Man with it’s hands that ended in sharp steel claws. Before the hero could react, he was caught in the robot’s grip by the leg and thrown into the side of a building. Mighty Man left a hole in the façade of the structure as he impacted with it. People on the ground ran away from the masonry that rained down on the street around them.

“Come on Mighty Man, you can beat this hunk of metal!” Bubba yelled out like the spectator at a prize-fight. A few of the people around them echoed Bubba’s cheer. The sound of shifting rubble was heard as Mighty Man appeared at the edge of the hole. He jumped down into the middle of the street. As the crowd watched, a small door opened up on the chest of the robot. Mighty Man slammed his foot down on the edge of a manhole cover, causing it to flip in the air in front of him. He caught it and held it in front of him like a shield as a gun opened fire on him, hosing him down with bullets. Mighty Man tensed, using his strength to keep his shield held in front of him. People on the street yelled and scattered, ducking behind anything they could find as the bullets ricocheted all around.

A whirring and clicking could be heard as the gun emptied, it’s barrel smoking from the heat. Mighty Man took the manhole cover and threw it at the robot like a Frisbee. It impacted with it’s head and shattered it’s right mechanical eye. Sparks and smoke could be seen coming from the hole. Before the robot could recover, the hero jumped at it’s chest. The impact caused the mechanical being to fall backwards, hitting the ground with a loud crash. Mighty Man grabbed the right arm of his opponent and pulled. With a tearing of steel and a shower of sparks, the arm detached from the body at the shoulder. Mighty Man then swung the arm down like a hammer, hitting the robot in the face. He continued swinging the arm until the glow in the left eye faded out. With a sigh of relief, Mighty Man dropped the arm to the ground.

The bystanders erupted in cheers. As the people began swarming around the hero, Bubba pushed his way towards the front of the crowd. “Mighty Man! Mighty Man! Ah’m one of your biggest fans!!”

Mighty Man paused and looked directly at Bubba. “Then that means you do what every night?”

“Drink my milk and brush my teeth!” Bubba said, the crowd joining in his response.

Mighty Man stood atop the robot’s chest, his fists on his sides and a smile on his face. His perfect white teeth shone in the fading sunlight. “That’s right. And one day you too can…”

“BE MIGHTY!!!” the people yelled. Mighty Man winked at Bubba before flying off into the sky.

As the people watched the hero fly off, Robert moved through the crown and grabbed his cousin. If he thought Bubba talked about the other events a lot, his mind was blown by how much his cousin yapped about seeing Mighty Man. Robert tried to hide his frustration as Bubba talked a mile a minute, going on about how his friends back home wouldn’t believe he saw Mighty Man in person.

The two of them reached the store without further incident. Robert got the sodas and some other snacks for them to eat and took them to the counter. Bubba was still walking around looking for something to buy.

“Come on Bubba, we have to go.”

“Awwww, what’s the big rush, Bobby? I’m enjoying myself.”

“We still have to get back home, Bubba, and it’s getting dark.” As Robert said that, a loud, monstrous roar was heard in the background.

Reclaiming the Throne

The sun was high in the sky, shining with its usual brilliance. There were no clouds in the sky, the calm weather a contrast to the emotions of the knight who rode on his white war horse through the forest. The knight was clad in red armor which was clean and freshly polished.

The reason for the internal turmoil of the knight was his return to his home. The red knight, and the man who rode beside him, had been away from the kingdom for many years. They traveled to distant lands, training to become better fighters. The two of them were ready to come back to Marinelle, the knight in red as the prince.

The two riders came to the edge of the forest and the red knight brought them to a halt. He lifted the visor of his helmet and looked at his companion, a puzzled look on his chocolate-toned face.

“John, what’s going on here? That banner isn’t flying my family crest, but someone else’s.”

“I don’t know, Prince Lionel. Maybe when we get to the village, we can get some more information.”

A knight in shining red armor was a rare occurrence, so the two of them were approached by people from the village before they even reached the town. There were lots of murmurs and whispered questions until an older woman, who must have been one of the elders, approached the two riders through the parting sea of people.

“And who might you two strangers be?” the old woman asked in a raspy voice.

“Good afternoon, Madam. I am Prince Lionel Logan, and this is my companion, John Biggs.” At the mention of their names, the volume of the crowd jumped from murmuring to excited talking. The old woman knelt on the ground in front of Lionel, followed by the rest of the crowd.

“Please, as my elder, you do not need to kneel before me. Instead, you can explain to us why the Logan family crest isn’t flying above the village.”

“Thank you for your kind words, my prince,” the woman said in response. “I would be honored to have the two of you as guests in my home so that you can rest and hear what has happened since you left on your journey.”

Lionel and John followed the old woman, whose name was Jaina, through the village. After leaving their horses tied to a post, they entered her home. It was a modest hut, but from the cleanliness of the place, they could tell the woman took pride in it. Water was brought for the three of them as they sat at the table.

“I guess the story starts about two years ago. Your uncle, King James, fell ill and died. Since he had no children, you were the heir to the Marinelle throne. However, you were away on your travels, and no one knew how to get word to you. While we awaited your return, a knight clad in black armor appeared with a small army. His name was Aaron Veers, but he was better known as the Dread Knight Unstoppable Aaron. He announced his arrival by burning a burning one of the villages, and vowing to kill any who stood before him. After a battle that lasted three days, Unstoppable Aaron took the throne and proclaimed himself the new Lord. His rule has been marked by tyranny, and the people of this kingdom have been hoping for this day when you would return and free us from his evil.”

John Biggs ran his fingers through his blonde hair and looked over at Lionel. “So what do you want to do, Prince? I know you want to fight for your kingdom, but you can’t just go knock on the castle door and ask that he leave.”

“You’re right, John, I do want to fight, but I have to use the proper strategy. I think a frontal assault would be good in this case. But first, we have to draw him out.”

Lionel then looked over at Jaina. “Ma’am, do you know of any place where we can spend the night?”

“I would be honored if you stayed here with me, your Highness. I can prepare accommodations for you at once.” Lionel and John both thanked the old woman. A knock on the door stopped them from saying anything further.

John stood up and went to open the door. A woman stood there, backlit by the sunlight. The dark green and brown colors of her clothing were a pleasant contrast against her light-brown skin. Her long brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. A quiver of arrows and a bow were on her back. Even after being away for many years, Lionel recognized his childhood friend immediately.

“Aayla!” he exclaimed, standing up quickly. She moved into the hut with athletic grace.

“I heard you were back. I had to come see for myself,” she responded.

“It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, it has.”

“You don’t look much different, though, Aayla.”

“Too bad I can’t say the same about you, Lionel. You aren’t the same skinny little boy that used to chase me around.” The two of them stood there, looking at each other, when John broke the moment with a light cough.

“Perhaps the two of you would like to catch up with each other,” he said, a smirk on his face. “I can stay here and help our gracious hostess get things ready for our stay.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Lionel said, nodding his head. He gestured towards the door and followed Aayla out. The sky was no longer clear and serene. Clouds had formed and occasionally drifted across the sun. A chill wind would blow intermittently. Lionel and Aayla walked around, talking about their childhood memories.

“Remember that time we tried to catch that frog at the creek?” Aayla asked.

“I remember you not wanting to touch it.”

“I was just a little girl then. Times change.”

“They certainly do,” Lionel said. This caused Aayla to blush a little. The two of them walked on in an awkward silence, which was thankfully broken by one of the village children running up to them telling them that the dinner at Jaina’s was ready.

Lionel, John, Aayla, and Jaina sat at the table, eating the dinner of roasted chicken and carrots and coming up with a plan. “First, we are going to have to gather our forces. Aayla, do you think the people will fight?” Lionel asked.

“If you lead them, yes. Many of us have been waiting for you to return, and will gladly follow you into battle.”

“Lionel, while it’ll be great to have the people in the villages behind us, we’ll also have to do something to make Aaron want to fight us,” John chimed in.

“You’re right, and I think I have a plan for that, too.”

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon when Lionel and John got up to begin their plan. While Aayla and Jaina went around quietly recruiting people to fight, the two knights were going to be doing other things.

The chance to start their plan came quickly. The weather had worsened and it was now raining, the water falling in heavy drops. The two knights felt the steady patter of the rain hitting their armor as they walked through a path in the forest. When they came around a bend, they went off into the bushes by the side of the road and waited.

The previous night, they learned that this road was a regular patrol route for some of Aaron’s soldiers, and it wasn’t long before it was proven true. Two soldiers dressed in silver armor and bearing the black dragon symbol of Unstoppable Aaron came walking down the road. As soon as they reached the turn, Lionel and John quickly jumped out, swords brandished. Aaron’s soldiers were caught by surprise and before they could unsheathe their swords, Lionel and John were upon them.

“Don’t even think about trying to get those swords out. The moment your hand touches the handle, it’ll get cut off,” John said.

“Slowly unbuckle them and throw them on the ground,” Lionel commanded.

“Do you know who we are? Do you know who you are messing with?” the soldier on the left asked.

“Yes, we know who you are. The swords,” Lionel replied, gesturing with his blade. He kept his eyes on the men as they followed his command.

“Now, take off the armor and leave that on the ground as well,” John said. The two soldiers looked at each other in surprise.

“Are you serious? Who do you think you are?” the soldier on the right blurted out.

“You can go back and tell your cowardly master that the rightful heir to that castle, Lionel Logan, is here and, with his sword Perfection, ready to take back what’s his,” Lionel said.

It took the soldiers a while to take off the chain armor they wore. The two of them stood there in their underclothes, arms across their torsos and shivering from the rain.

“Now go back to your Master with my message,” Lionel said to them. He smacked the soldier in front of him on the leg with the flat of his sword. The two soldiers turned around and scurried off in the rain, mud clinging to their shoes. Lionel and John picked up the armor and swords off the ground and began walking back to the village.

*****

“They said WHAT????” Aaron bellowed. He quickly jumped up from the throne. The long black robe he wore reached the floor, and enhanced the menace emanating from him. He towered over his messenger, his angry brown face bent forward and his eyes wide with rage.

“Ummm, my l-l-l-lord, apparently, Lionel has told people that h-h-h-here in the castle, you prepare the t-t-t-tea for your wife.” The messenger pulled his head down as if he were a turtle trying to retreat into his shell.

“So, this boy attacks my men, and seeks to emasculate me?! ME?! Does he know who I am? I am Unstoppable Aaron!” Aaron lifted his hand to strike the innocent man as his words echoed around the stone room.

“Please, my liege, calm yourself. He is just the messenger.” These words came from the man standing behind the throne. He was thin and stood at average height. His eyes were brown and constantly squinted, as if he were always concentrating on something.

Aaron turned to the side and took a step but stopped. At his feet sat a brown puppy. Aaron lifted his foot and kicked the animal out of his way. The dog landed a few feet away with a loud yelp. Aaron paid it no mind as he started pacing in front of his throne.

“So what do you think I should do, Kell?” Aaron asked his advisor.

“This Lionel, rightful heir or not, can‘t do anything without the support of the villages. Punish them, and they will drive him away for us.”

“Yes, Kell, that is an excellent idea. ”

Aaron looked at his messenger. “Send my men out to one of the villages and burn it to the ground.”

The man nodded and ran off to deliver Aaron’s message. “I will teach that young whelp why they call me Unstoppable Aaron,” he said aloud, to no one in particular.

*****

Lionel, John, and Aayla rode up to the village on their horses and stopped, shocked at the sight. The huts were all afire, and people were running around, screaming and crying. They could see a few of Aaron’s men ruthlessly killing anyone who tried to defend the village. Lionel quickly hopped off his horse and drew his sword, John and Aayla right behind him.

With a roar, Lionel charged at one of the evil knights. The man had just enough time to get his sword up before Lionel’s swing reached him. The two swords clanged and vibrated from the contact. As Lionel pressed forward with the attack, swinging his sword and looking for a hole in the man’s defense, he saw John a few feet from him, in the middle of a fight with another of Aaron’s men. Lionel’s opponent kept stepping back, barely able to stay ahead of Lionel’s attacks. Lionel faked his sword to his right. When his opponent moved in response to defend against the blow that didn’t come, Lionel kicked out with his left foot, planting it squarely in the chest of the man’s armor. The opposing knight fell, landing on his back. Lionel aimed the sword down and stabbed it through the man’s chest, ending the fight.

As he pulled his sword out, he felt the rush of air as something flew by his head. He looked up and saw another of Aaron’s men falling to the ground, an arrow lodged in his chest. Lionel looked back and saw Aayla smiling at him.

“Someone’s got to look out for you,” she called out to him.

“I thought that was my job,” John said, standing over his fallen opponent.

“Do you want to be the one to tell her no?” Lionel asked, a smile on his face.

“Hmm, good point.”

“Well, John, it looks like we might have gotten Aaron’s attention.”

“Yeah, but we need to keep at it until we can assemble our army. The villagers are spreading the word, but it will take a while.”

“Let’s just hope Aaron doesn’t slaughter all of the villages before we are ready,” Aayla said.

“That’s why we’ll be here to stop him,” Lionel said.

*****

“These two men have been judged guilty of conspiring against our King Aaron Veers. As such, they have been sentenced to death by beheading!” The announcer stepped down off the small platform that was being used for the execution stand. In front of him, two men were kneeling, their hands tied behind their backs and their heads resting on wooden blocks. Standing over them was the executioner, his head covered in a black hood.

The platform was surrounded by about fifty of Aaron’s men. They were all wearing black armor and had their swords drawn, waiting for someone to try to interrupt the proceedings. Clouds filled the sky, blocking out the sun and chilling the air.

In the crowd, Lionel and John stood listening to the announcer. They were wearing simple clothes to blend into the crowd.

“We should do something,” Lionel said.

“This is not the time, prince,” John replied. “If we act now, we will be badly outnumbered, and probably die. What will happen to Marinelle then?”

“But I don’t like standing here and doing nothing.”

“I know that, and that’s also what Aaron is counting on. Besides these men here, there are probably more waiting for a fight to break out.”

“You are right, of course,” Lionel said with a sigh. “I need to be patient and wait for the right time to strike.”

“Aayla is out getting the villagers ready, but we still need a little more time.”

On the platform, the executioner had lifted his axe above his head. He swung hard, bringing the axe down with precision and removing the head of the victim. The crowd let out a collective gasp. The head landed in a basket placed in front of the wooden block, the eyes frozen in a stare at the sky. The executioner then moved over and repeated the process with the second man. With his job complete, the executioner stepped down off the platform, and the announcer took his place.

“King Aaron has declared that any person found rebelling against him will be executed, and their families billed for the use of the axe.” A chorus of shouts and boos following him, the announcer stepped down and, with the soldiers guarding him, left the area.

“Let’s get out of here, Lionel.”

“Yes. And we will continue to hit Aaron where it hurts.”

*****

Aaron sat in the grand hall, eating his dinner of roasted pig, cheese and bread. A goblet of wine sat next to his plate. His guards were standing behind him when the messenger walked in, looking distressed.

“My lord, I h-h-have more news for you.”

“What is it?” Aaron replied, putting his fork and knife down.

“It s-s-seems as if Lionel and his man J-j-john, aided by a few others, a-a-attacked one of your coaches carrying gold to the castle.”

“Seems? Well, did it happen, or didn’t it?” Aaron asked, the calm in his voice belying the fire in his eyes.

“Y-y-yes, my liege. It did happen.”

With a loud yell, Aaron punched the messenger in the face, sending blood gushing from the man’s nose.

“Why hasn’t this insolent dog been stopped yet?” Aaron yelled.

“My king, I have a thought,” Kell said, walking into the hall. He gestured for the guards to drag the messenger away.

“What is it, Kell?”

“Perhaps a more direct approach is in order. Maybe what this situation needs is you.”

“What do you mean? You are the one who suggested hurting the villagers.”

“Well, I seem to have miscalculated the resolve of the villagers, now that Lionel is back.”

“There goes that word ‘seem’ again,” Aaron said, glaring at Kell.

Kell took a moment before responding. “Yes, well, I suggest gathering your army. If you defeat Lionel face-to-face, and beat anyone he assembles against you, there will be no disputing your place on the throne.”

Aaron rubbed his chin in thought. “You speak wisely, Kell. Spread the word. I want my soldiers assembled here at the castle in one week’s time.” He waved Kell away and went back to eating his meal.

*****

The day for the battle arrived. The sun hovered in the sky, warming the air. The scent of grass and flowers could be inhaled with every breath. On the field, the two armies lined up in ranks, facing each other. Lionel, John, and Aayla rode to the front of their army on their horses. They dismounted and Aayla lifted Lionel‘s visor to give him a kiss on the cheek before going off to lead the archers.

“Good luck, Lionel. I know you can do it,” she whispered into his ear. Lionel smiled at her before turning to John.

“From what I’ve heard, Aaron has no real style or technique. He just uses his strength. Remember your training,” John said. He extended his hand and placed it on Lionel’s armored shoulder.

“Thank you, my friend,” Lionel replied. He patted John’s hand before turning and walking towards the center of his army‘s line. Lionel placed his hand on the handle of his sword.

“My friend, you’ve served me well these years I’ve had you. You are Perfection, and I know you will see me through,” he whispered.

The villagers stood as Lionel faced them, waiting for his command.

“Today, my friends, I stand before you as a leader. Many of you lived under my uncle’s rule, and it honors me to know that you are willing to fight by my side. With your help, we will kick this usurper off the throne and return peace to Marinelle!” The villagers cheered, banging their swords against their shields. Lionel turned towards the opposing army and pulled his visor down. “CHARGE!!” he yelled.

The two armies ran towards each other, the earth trembling from the footsteps. They met with a clash of steel on steel. Arrows flew through the air as archers from both sides rained death upon their enemies.

Lionel fought ferociously, with John never far from his side. With their years of training as aid, they quickly established a mutual defense, fighting back any enemy that came at them.

As the fight wore on, Lionel spotted Aaron through the crowd. Without warning, he ran towards the black-clad knight. Aaron saw him approaching and quickly stabbed his current opponent with his sword before getting ready to meet Lionel.

“I am Lionel Logan, rightful heir to the throne of Marinelle. I come to take back what’s mine from the coward who stole it from my family,” he announced in his loudest voice. Lionel held his sword in both hands out in front of him, ready to pounce.

“I am the Dread Knight Unstoppable Aaron. Many men have tried to conquer me, and they all failed. If you want to add your name to that list, I will be happy to oblige you.” Aaron held his blade to the side in his right hand, and gestured with the left for Lionel to come get him.

Lionel bellowed a war cry and charged, sword ready. He reached Aaron and swung. Aaron brought his sword down and deflected the attack. The clang of the swords as they met rang in the air. The force of the blow sent vibrations up Lionel’s arms. He was barely able to bring his sword back up as Aaron continued through his swing and brought his sword back around, aimed at Lionel’s waist. Aaron’s superior strength kept him on the attack, constantly probing at Lionel’s defense, looking for a weakness. The two knights fought furiously, the sounds of their swords meeting sending a song of battle into the air.

Lionel swung his sword in an overhead arc, bringing it down towards Aaron’s head. The knight in black blocked the potentially deadly blow. Lionel took a step forward, coming visor-to-visor with Aaron, their swords pressed between them.

“I saw your woman kiss you before we started,” Aaron said to Lionel. “When I win the fight, I will delight in making her a servant in the castle.”

Lionel roared and pushed with all his strength. As Aaron stumbled, Lionel began swinging at him, beating him back with a flurry of controlled attacks. Aaron blocked each blow, but his defense became slower with each hit. It was a matter of time before Lionel broke his defense.

Lionel faked an attack to Aaron’s left, and the black knight fell for it. As Aaron moved his sword to block the fake attack, Lionel brought his sword down on Aaron’s wrist. Perfection cut all the way through, cleaving off Aaron’s right hand. Blood began to spurt out as Aaron’s sword dropped to the ground, still clutched in the enclosed fist. Aaron bellowed out in pain and dropped to his knees. Lionel pulled off his helmet and stood over his opponent, the sweat glistening on his face. All around them, the battle seemed to stop as both armies watched to see what happened.

“End it right now,” Aaron said, panting from the pain. He was holding his bloody stump against his chest. “Let me die as a warrior.”

Lionel looked Aaron in his eyes. “No. Without your sword hand, you’ll never harm anyone again. I’d rather you live in shame than die with honor.” Lionel sheathed Perfection and then reached down to pick up Aaron’s detached hand. Prying the fingers apart, he lifted Aaron’s sword in his right hand, and his opponent’s hand in the other. The crowd cheered, happy that the Logan family was back in power.

The Meeting

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll enjoy it here. Everyone is pretty understanding and non-judgmental. We’ve all pretty much been there before,” Louisa said as she sipped on her soda. She smiled at Frankie, the newcomer to the meeting who Louisa decided she was going to try and make feel welcome.

The other members of the group were standing around the room, some sipping soda, some water, some eating various snacks and cookies, but all of them mingling with someone else.

At the appropriate time, someone stepped up to the podium that had been set up at the front of the room and gently knocked on it for attention. “Excuse me, everyone, but I would like to get the meeting started now.” The people found their seats at gave their attention to the leader. “As many of you know, my name is Wallace and I lead these meetings. For the benefit of any newcomers, I’ll let you know that I’m pretty much a no-frills guy and just like to have the members of the meeting share their stories and experiences. I feel that this sort of sharing is the best type of therapy for people like us. Okay, Who would like to go first?”

A woman stood up in the middle of the group and smiled nervously at everyone. She was in her 50‘s, with her brown hair sprinkled with gray. “Hello everyone, I’m Janice, and this is my first meeting.”

“Welcome, Janice,” the group said in unison.

“Thank you. Something happened to me recently, actually just two days ago, that made me face my addiction. I would indulge at any time, in between breakfast and lunch, while watching my stories, sitting on the porch. Hell, I even had a supply stashed in my glove box for when I was driving. And then, before I knew it, my supplier got out of the game and my supply dried up. That’s when I started getting desperate. It got so bad that, two days ago, I tried to cook up my own batch. I got all the ingredients, mixed them together, and put them in the oven. And then I fell asleep. I woke up an hour later to my house filling with smoke. That’s right, I could have burned my house down for some bootleg product.” Janice put her hands to her face and began to cry, her shoulders shaking from her sobbing. A few of the people sitting near Janice patted her, and one woman sitting next to her held her hand. “After that happened, I came to the realization that I had a serious problem, and needed help for my addiction .”

“Thank you Janice for sharing your story. Admitting you have a problem is never an easy thing to do.” Wallace looked around the room. “Anyone else?”

A man in his forties stood up slowly and nodded to the group. “Hello group, my name is Xavier and I’ve been clean for three years, five months and 4 days, now.” The group applauded this news. “Recently, I had a moment when I was tempted to fall off the wagon again. A couple of days ago, I was walking down the street when I saw my old supplier across the street.” There was a chorus of murmurs accompanied by shaking heads. “Yeah, I know. And what made it worse was the fact that she was walking down the street with a shopping cart full of the stuff. For a moment, I was tempted to run across the street and tackle that little girl and just take the shit in that cart. But I knew that wasn’t what I was supposed to do. I remembered what my life was like when I was addicted and how much better it’s been since I’ve been off the stuff. After a deep breath, I was able to continue on my way and not look back.” Xavier sat down and the group applauded, with a couple of the people sitting around him patting him on his shoulders in support.

“Thank you for sharing, Xavier. I know how far you’ve come, and I’m sure I’m not the only one of us who’s proud of you for being able to walk away from the temptation.” Wallace paused for a few moments before holding out his hands in front of him. “Will there be another?”

In the front row, a young woman in a business suit stood up and faced the rest of the group. “Hi everyone, I’m Candace and I’ve been clean for three months now.” The group clapped. “I’ve been coming here for a while, and, even though it’s been only a few months, I feel like I’ve come a long way from where I was. It seems like it happened so quickly. It started out so innocently, with a couple of coworkers selling the cookies for their daughters. My cookie of choice was the Lemon Chalet. There was something about those cookies that made me feel good in ways I can’t describe. I would have a few cookies here and there, thinking everything was okay as long as I took it slowly. I didn’t know how far it would go, with me sneaking off to the ladies room to devour a box without anyone noticing. Every time I stepped out the bathroom, I felt like my coworkers were staring at me, seeing crumbs on my clothes that I couldn’t see. It got to the point where I couldn’t even go an hour without a hit. I was stockpiling boxes of the shit in my house like WWIII was coming. When my friends came over and saw that, they knew I needed help. It’s been a struggle these past few months, but I’m glad they cared enough to say something.” Candace sat down, letting out a deep breath. The group applauded at her confession.

“Thank you for that, Candace. As many of our members will tell you, these first few months are the hardest, but if you can get through it, you’ll be okay. Would someone else like to share?”

A man stood up at the back of the room. “Hi everyone, my name is Glen, and I’ve been clean for two weeks now. This is my third meeting, but my first time sharing. I was told that letting your bottom be known was a freeing experience, so here I go. As with most of you, I got mine through family. I don’t blame them, though. They didn’t know what they were starting. My cookies of choice were ones that I’m sure many of y’all are familiar with, the Thin Mints.” There was a chorus of murmurs and groans from the group. “Yeah, I know. They say those are the most addictive of them all, and those were the ones I went after. I’ve always been the type to do things big, so I guess this was just another example of that. Anyways, I fell into it fast and hard. I quickly escalated to a 3 box-a-day habit. Those cookies were taking over my life.” Glen stopped and looked down at the floor, as if debating on whether or not to continue. It took a few words of encouragement from the group for him to go on. “The point when I knew I had a problem was when my lifestyle affected my kids. I thought I was good, but I went overboard with it. My kids came home from school one day to find me in bed, naked, covered in cookie crumbs with empty boxes strewn around the bed. I had passed out eating Thin Mints!! I never thought it would get that bad, but when your kids have to see something like that, you just have to get help.” Glen sighed and stood there, as if he wanted to say more. “Thank you,” he finally said before sitting back down.